Friday, September 23, 2005

Somebody get the Preznit to a Meeting 

"Hi, I'm George and I'm an . . . "

Digby wonders if the president is back on the sauce again. The Enquirer claims to have the scoop.

Well, you know, being president is hard work. Maybe when the levees broke, George just needed a little something to take the edge off.

Of course, once you've got the disease, one is too many and a thousand is never enough.

We report. You decide.

UPDATE Friday morning. Avedon thinks it's all a ploy to make us think Bush really cares, as in, he was driven to drink because he cares so deeply about the hurricane victims, the dead in Iraq, and blah blah blah.

Could be. Maybe Rove & Co. knew the word would get out eventually, so they found away to use Bush's boozing to make him appear, you know, compassionate. Couldn't happen at a better time for bubble boy.


Bush and Bianca? Or was it Bowie? 


NEW YORK (AP) Rock diva and human rights activist Bianca Jagger reacted with puzzlement and disbelief Thursday night when told that the President of the United States was looking for her in Washington.

"I've never even met the bastard," said the 60-year old ex-wife of Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger. "Unless it was during my blackout period . . . or his blackout period. Was he ever involved with David Bowie?"

Jagger angrily denied rumors that she had been prompted by White House staffers to ask the president a softball question about his work on behalf of human rights.

"Human rights? Are you out of your mind? The man has been a absolute disaster for human rights. The only question I want to ask him is when will he do the right thing and hand himself in to the International Criminal Court . . . Are you sure he was never involved with David Bowie?"

Mr. Bowie was not available for comment.

Ch ch ch changes . . .


Thursday, September 22, 2005

Global War on . . . Porn? 

You knew this was coming, right? The FBI is recruiting agents for this high priority mission.

It gives the religious right something to like about Attorney General Gonzales.

Billmon has some thoughts. Toles has a cartoon. Justice Thomas used to have a video.


Navajo message to the moon 

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a barren region of the Navajo reservation in Arizona for training.

A Navajo elder and his son saw the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon. Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder.

The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to the nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing the translator relayed the message: "Watch out for these assholes - they have come to steal your land."

NASA spokesmen have refused comment on whether or not the message was ever delivered.

Thanks again to DL. The petitions await your services.


Brazilian Soldiers 

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this rare display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Thanks to DL.


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

the way we should be doing it 

Kos points out a great way to fund raise while turning the tables on the wingnuts:
Here's how it works: You decide on the amount you would like to pledge for each protester (minimum 10 cents). When protesters show up on our sidewalks, Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania will count and record their number each day from October 1 through November 30, 2005. We will place a signoutside the health center that tracks pledges and makes protesters fully aware that their actions are benefiting PPSP. At the end of the two-month campaign, we will send you an update on protest activities and a pledge reminder.
I love it!


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